Return offer closed
Everyone who has commented will receive a Return reading. However, I am now out of spots and will not be taking more Return reading requests. Starting next week, I will be in contact via email with individuals who requested a reading, and I hope to post the first of my analyses next week as well. As I said in my initial offering post, this might take me awhile–I’ll be able to do no more than two readings a week, and one is more likely.
I’ve got a lot to do this weekend, so I probably won’t post until next Monday or Tuesday–see y’all then!
OK, what’s next? (Upcoming major transits in the sky)
OK, so the Saturn/Neptune opposition is thisclose to becoming yesterday’s old news. What’s going to replace it?
Venus’s retrograde in Virgo means that she will be bouncing back and forth around Saturn (exact conjunctions on 8/14 and 10/13-14). That’s quite a long time for Venus to be hanging around one of the outer planets. While the distance between the bodies does reach 10+ degrees for a few days, I’m willing to grant the whole period between mid-August and mid-October for this extended conjunction.
Because Venus is in aspect with Saturn, this means she is also in aspect with Pluto. I would say that the Venus/Pluto trine started right at the end of June (exact on 7/9/07) and continues until mid-October (exact on 8/15/ and 10/3). Again, there are a few periods of 5-6 days where the planets are out of orb, but I’m willing to grant the overall effect.
As for Saturn and Pluto themselves–their trine influence wraps up at the beginning of October and resumes again in January 2008, when Saturn is retrograde in Virgo and Pluto takes a tentative step into Capricorn. This trine influence continues until July 2008–by this time Saturn is, of course, direct in Virgo again, and Pluto has retreated into Sagittarius.
Coming back to the current time, we see that Jupiter is about to go direct (on August 7) and will soon re-enter a square aspect with Uranus in Pisces. This square will last until the beginning of November (exact around 10/8-9) and from there Jupiter will go into conjunction with Pluto–a situation that will last until the end of January 2008. Jupiter’s trine to Saturn will pick back up again in December 2007 and end in early February 2008.
Mutable energy folks, it looks like it is Your Turn on the Wheel. The Cardinal folks had their fun when Saturn passsed through Cancer and Jupiter was in Libra. The Fixed folks had their fun with Mars’s extended passage through Taurus, Jupiter in Scorpio and, of course, the Saturn/Neptune opposition. Now it looks like all the action will be taking place in the Mutable signs (and by “mutable signs,” I really mean “Sagittarius”). Of course, since a lot of this is happening on cusps, there will be some influences in Leo (late Fixed) and Capricorn (early Cardinal), but by and large the major focus will be in late Sagittarius and early Virgo (the predominant positions of Pluto, Jupiter and Saturn during this period).
October 2007 is going to be a crazy time, with a lot of influences becoming exact and then ending. Everyone should be mindful as to what they decide to do with that month, especially during the first half.
Return offer still valid
Everyone who has commented to the Return chart post will get a return reading. I still have a few more spots left (I said I’d take up to 10). This will be the last time I post about this, and if you’d like a reading, just comment in the original post (accessible via the blog announcement/offer tag).
I have some major things going on at the end of July, so I’ll probably spend most of the next week and a half making smaller posts or posting material I’ve done elsewhere. I’ll start doing these return readings during the first full week of August.
Thanks for reading.
Solar Return for a Gemini
Perhaps it is my Gemini Venus and Mercury, but I have quite a few friends and acquaintances born under the dominion of The Twins. One of them (not the one who has been featured in the Composite chart post) asked me to look at a Solar return chart for 2007.
The stats:
Sun 4 40′ Gemini (2nd house)
Moon 1 12′ Libra (conjunct DSC)
Mercury 26 23′ Gemini (3rd house, conjunct IC)
Venus 19 23′ Cancer (4th house, conjunct 5th house cusp)
Mars 8 4′ Aries (1st house)
Jupiter 16 15′rx Sagittarius (9th house)
Saturn 19 18′ Leo (conjunct 9th house cusp)
Uranus 18 22′ Pisces (12th house)
Neptune 22 2′rx Aquarius (conjunct 12th house cusp)
Pluto 28 14′rx Sagittarius (9th house, conjunct MC)
ASC 29 45′ Pisces
MC 29 52′ Sagittarius
I love this person to death, but analyzing her charts is so damned difficult! She has one of the most complicated natals in terms of figures that I’ve ever seen, and every transit triggers 27 zillion different things. This SR chart is not much easier (though I find it fascinating that she and I have almost the exact same SR Ascendant and Midheaven). Going through the stats one can see all the key placements in angular houses and the number of planets that are conjunct house cusps, giving an extra emphasis to that area of her life in 2007-08. With a quick reading, we see that we have to pay special attention to the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 7th, 9th, 10th and 12th houses. That’s more than half the chart!
Furthermore, there are a lot of hard aspects in this chart. In terms of figures, the only thing I would grant is a T-square with Pluto opposite Mercury, squared by the Moon. Of course, all three of these planets are conjunct angular cusps, making this figure even more critical. Other hard aspects include a Jupiter/Uranus square; a Saturn/Neptune opposition; and a Mars/Moon opposition. Helpful aspects include a Sun/Moon trine; a Mercury/Neptune trine; a Venus/Uranus trine; a Saturn/Jupiter trine; and a Mars/Sun sextile. Every planet is linked to at least one other planet through a major aspect.
The numerous house emphases, the figure hitting on the angular axes and the hard aspects indicate that this has the potential to be a nearly overwhelming year for our Gemini friend. Despite the T-square drawing focus to the angular houses, I am actually drawn to the twelfth house. The chart’s ASC, Pisces, is the natural sign of the twelfth, and Neptune, the chart ruler, is at home in house twelve. Also in this house is Uranus, which receives two squares and a trine. Neptune and Uranus “reach out” to houses three, four and nine. I believe that my Gemini friend will go through a number of difficult moments this year–her natal twelfth and Neptune are not strong and she, by her own admission, has been the laziest overachiever ever to this point in her life, and that she will outwardly express or most personally feel these moments in terms of their affect on her stance toward philosophy and religion and her stance toward family.
In terms of the ninth house, I think that the difficulties or moments of indecision and re-examination will not be devestating. The SR Jupiter has dignity by sign and house, and given that it is The Greater Benefic, with this much strength it should be able to “hold its own” against the square from Uranus in the twelfth. The planet of radical change augurs an unconventional turn in the matters of religion and philosophy (given the connections to the fourth house, I cannot tell whether or not this “unconventionality” would be vis-a-vis the generation at large or vis-a-vis the family unit) OR some unexpected trips and separations due to travel (given her current work, that is a possibility). However, if the changes are of a more philosophical nature, this might be a situation where the internal process of change and general anxiety over openly acknowledging that change might outweigh any negatives actually associated with vocalizing the change.
The fourth house (and the end of the third) might be more problematic. Venus is trined by Uranus. Mercury, which is technically in the third in Gemini (and also powerful, like Jupiter) but is only three degrees off the IC, is squared by Uranus and trined by Neptune. Much of the twelfth house is being projected out onto the fourth house (indeed, as I look at this, instinct tells me that the transformative effects of these transits will center more on the family and the dwelling place). While a Venus/Uranus trine is nowhere near as difficult as the square, conjunction or opposition, it does indicate a level of instability that might be trying, particularly if the choices of partner or the expression of womanhood end up as some of the first expressions of the Uranian change. Something like that would certainly create instability–not necessarily negative, but given her family situation, probably tense at a minimum.
Mercury is an interesting case in this SR. As the ruling planet of the Sun sign, and placed as it is technically in the third (though it bears on the 4th) and in Gemini, it has a lot of strength. This friend exhibits many “Mercurian” characteristics, particularly in terms of wit and even-temper, and I believe that the strength of Mercury means that she will really lean on his strengths and her familiarity with him to cope with any potential upheavals indicated by the Uranus/Venus aspect. However, Mercury also completes the Pluto/Moon T-square as well. This T-square is trying to unify the three disparate areas of relationship, career and the home situation. Let us just say that my friend moved somewhere to help further her career, was joined there by her casual boyfriend, soon broke up with her boyfriend (I haven’t thought to see if there’s something in the stars right now that would signal particular issues in this domain for Gemini, but given this experience and the Gemini/Aries situation, maybe I ought to check), and had a terrible row with her landlady, who I suspect is angling for her recently ex-ed boyfriend. It is painfully obvious that the key issues in play are wreaking havoc with my friend’s life right now, but I am having a difficult time coming up with a developmental theme for the figure in general. Basically we have her natal ASC ruler opposing her natal Sun ruler on the MC/IC axis, which seems to indicate a real split–two parts of the self set against each other. Whether or not she should try to balance them, choose one over the other, or look to the seventh house (she is yet another natal 7th house Sun friend of mine) and find herself a nice Cancer-influenced boy to help her emotionally (this was an off-the-cuff suggestion in jest, but it doesn’t sound like the dumbest idea I’ve ever had, honestly–of course my astrological philosophy makes me wary of matchmaking by sign, so I will not discuss this with her in this way when I discuss the Return) and serve as a balance point, I really can’t say.
The massive amount of zodiacal space affected by this SR, the Neptunian/12th house issues and Pluto conjunct the MC at a critical beginning point in my friend’s career are all indicators that she will have a lot on her plate. I worry about this because, given her previous pattern of accomplishing a great deal with a great deal of ease, that if she shows signs of struggle that people will not know how to react to her. Furthermore, her ASC in Pisces, which might help her in terms of being able to present herself in a way that will allow her to communicate deep emotions, is countered by Mars in Aries in the first house. With Mars in the rising house and dignified by house and sign, it will be hard for people not to latch onto that aspect (particularly since her natal ASC is in Scorpio), and she might find herself frustrated in trying to communicate information about herself to her friends and family during this return (although Mercury powerfully placed near the IC does promise some home for the domestic situation).
I wonder at the fact that Mercury and Pluto are technically conjunct house cusps, but in the previous houses. The Moon is just inside the seventh house. A strong angular presence is generally interpreted to mean that the most critical events in the SR period will occur during the first part of the year, and I think that there is evidence that some critical seventh house issues have already been put into play for my Gemini friend. However, I would not be surprised if the connection or outward expression of the effects of these developments in terms of the ninth/tenth and third/fourth house were not delayed in emerging. I would not go so far to say that these developments will occur in the later part of the year, but it would not surprise me if there was a significant gap (maybe November/December?) until these issues were resolved.
If you are interested in receiving a similar type of Return reading (Solar, Mars or Venus) for free (it helps me to practice), please comment below in this post.
Return readings
All the people who have commented so far will receive a reading. I have five more slots, so go ahead and comment (I moderate comments, so I’m reading and not posting them).
Limited Offer: Reading of Return charts
Ladies and Gentlemen:
Because it is useful for me as a dedicated amateur astrologer to read for as many people as possible, I would like to expand my reading circle. Although I am generally pressed for time, I would be happy to read a Return chart for TEN (10) people. I imagine it will take me a long time–I might not get through all my readings until September, or even October, but I do promise a thorough reading along the lines of the Return and Composite chart analyses elsewhere on the blog.
With the caveats that I am a)an amateur and b)going to take a long time to do this, if you would like a Solar, Venus or Mars Return reading, please comment (comments are moderated and I will not display them as to keep birth data private) with the type of Return reading you would like, your FULL, ACCURATE birth data, a user name/ID, and, if you feel comfortable, your gender. If you have been dealing with stresses in any particular area of your life (work, romance, family), you may indicate that as well. I will not do a reading for individuals who cannot supply full and accurate data. I will not specify the birth data in my posts; I will only provide the chart statistics. Please do not feel as though you must leave your real name. I will do a reading for the first TEN people who respond, and I will post readings in the order that they were requested.
Mars Return
Time for another return chart! This one, in case you couldn’t tell from the title, is a Mars return chart. This MR period will last until June 2009–nearly two years. While that sounds like a long time, it’s actually fairly standard for Mars returns, which I did not know. I guess the fact that this will be my fifth MR since 2004 is worthy of further investigation in another post! My natal Mars is at 14 38′32″ Taurus. Of course, my actual Mars return happens sometime between 7:35 and 7:36am this morning (Sunday, 15 July 2007), so I’ll use a chart for 7:36am:
Sun 22 37′ Cancer
Moon 4 58′ Leo
Merc 3 44′ Cancer
Venus 0 18′ Virgo
Mars 14 38′ Taurus
Jupiter 10 42′ Sagittarius (rx)
Saturn 23 54′ Leo
Uranus 18 30′ Pisces (rx)
Neptune 21 23′ Aquarius (rx)
Pluto 26 59′ Sagittarius (rx)
ASC 14 37′ Leo
MC 4 46′ Taurus
I believe that my Mars return is particularly important this year as Mars is conjunct the ASC for my Solar Return and square my Midheaven (the axes for my SR chart are cross-shaped, not at an angle like they are in my natal). When we look to the placement of natal Mars, we see it safely in the 10th house. Since the Mars return, like all other return charts, shows you what areas in your life will receive particular Martial influence (perhaps a focus on work, a focus on the generation of the ego, a focus on pugnacity/tenacity, a focus on the physical components of sexuality, the place where you could overextend yourself health-wise, etc.) for a given period of time, the appearance of Mars in the 10th seems to echo the message of the SR chart (I love it when they do that).
So, Mars in the 10th? That’s good–the 10th house is Capricorn’s house, and Mars is in exaltation in Capricorn. And look! Mars is in an Earth sign. Alas, that Earth sign is Taurus, the sign of Mars’s ancient detriment (modern detriment if you consider Mars as a co-ruler of Scorpio). Mars in Taurus tends to be associated with a strong physical sensuality and the ability to perform a great deal of labor without complaint, but it is also associated with stress-related health problems (and indeed, I do suffer from headaches), “temper,” and a tendency to overwork oneself. So, if we combine the Mars in Taurus qualities with the Mars in the 10th house qualities, I seem to be in a place where I will really have the ability to (re?)establish myself as a hard and dogged worker who achieves material progress. Of course, this placement could also scream “workaholic” and call attention to the potential for related health problems.
It’s tough to guess which way things will go. As I like to do, I looked at recent past MR charts and my next MR chart in 2009 to look for patterns. I had three MRs between August 2005 and January 2006 thanks to the long Mars retrograde in Taurus. The August 2005 MR had Mars in the fifth house, conjunct the Moon and squaring a Mercury/Neptune opposition. This was an “update” of my 2004 MR (from late February) where Mars and Moon were conjunct in my fourth house. Indeed, during that period, I was dealing with a particular set of issues from a health/stress/service/work standpoint. However, my second 2005 MR, in November, featured Mars right on the 8th house cusp and part of a Sun/Neptune/Saturn Fixed Grand Cross (!!!) and this MR paired quite well with my 2006 MR which had Mars in the 8th as part of a Saturn/Jupiter/Neptune Fixed Grand Cross.
And I wonder why I’ve been dealing with issues of stress, depression and fatigue for nearly two years! Indeed, my 2009 MR combines elements of this late ‘05-’06 sequence as Mars will be conjunct Venus in the 8th house, nearly perfectly trine to Saturn in Virgo. (Also, Sun and Moon are in the critical 29th degree of their signs.); however, Mars is not square anything in that return, thank you Sweet Zombie Jesus! Hopefully that MR period will provide a more moderate opportunity to re-examine issues from the 2005-06 period.
But let me return to the current 2007 MR chart, which does appear to be an anomaly with its focus on an outward house and its amplification of the “work” aspect of Mars in Taurus as opposed to the “sexuality” aspect of Mars in Taurus (in the interests of propriety, I will just say that yes, it’s been obvious that Mars returns have been hammering my eighth house in the last couple of years and leave it at that). This emphasis is also reflected in my Solar return chart for 2007 (2008 is more questionable). Considering that I am about to jump to a new phase in my career, this is actually very fortunate, so long as I do not work myself into the hospital!
I have almost no expertise in the very precise subfield of medical astrology, so when I examine a MR chart, I am more looking for general indicators of stress than for any particular health issue (and given that I’m a bit of a hypochondriac, it’s really all for the best, I promise). Mars does receive a few squares in this MR chart, but there are no Grand Crosses, so that’s an improvement, right? While Mars is almost exactly square the AC/DC axis, the only planet it squares is Neptune, and that’s as wide a square as I allow (7 degrees). I know Saturn and Neptune are still in opposition, but Saturn is nearly in the 24th degree of Leo in the MR chart and that puts it a solid 9.5 degrees from Mars. Mars receives one other aspect in the chart–a wide sextile to Uranus in Pisces. The axes are also in the Fixed signs, which adds a sense of propulsion (and Leo rising indicates that I will appear with this warmth), but Fixed energy can also run up against blocks and create frustration in the native.
So, the Mars interpretation is pretty clear, but as Mars is the Me, so Venus is the You, and we must look to her and her houses for the shadow in an MR chart. This chart has a powerful shadow, far more powerful than any in my MR charts since 2004. This is the first MR chart since 2004 that contains a planet in the seventh house, and that planet, Neptune, is the only planet that squares Mars (the tension aspect). Not only that, but what is opposite Neptune in the first house (i.e., indicating what will be visible during this MR period, particularly as Mars issues manifest themselves)? If you said Venus, you win a cookie (OK, Saturn is there too, but…). Venus sits at 0 Virgo and she and Mars are the only two planets in Earth signs. This Earth elementality (is that even a word–probably not) appears to be at odds with the cool/detached/fantastical nature of Aquarius on the DSC and Neptune in the seventh house. Since Saturn and Venus are in the first house (with Saturn closer to the ASC), I think that while my Martiality will generally be perceived in terms of duty and my professional image as a hard worker, there will be key moments where the Mars/Venus dynamic and the subsequent spotlight that it shines on sexuality and relationships will take center stage (perhaps this will be later in the return…one of the issues that I haven’t quite sorted out in this chart is the significance of Sun and Moon–Sun is chart ruler, remember–in the twelfth house).
Of course, my first honest reaction when I looked at this was, “I’m going to have a workplace relationship…”
Much as with the Saturn/Mars squares and their importance in terms of my larger Saturn seven-year cycle, the Mars returns of this period are worth further attention and consideration. Look for that in an upcoming post. Also look for my commentary on how my Venus return for this period integrates with my Mars return.
Small Composite Update
The Aries and the Gemini have decided to be “just friends.” The Arien is still working on the Neptunian issues I discussed in my original post on the subject, and does not feel that s/he should be in a relationship at this time. I think this might be all for the best, as the Gemini, whom I hadn’t seen in a long time, had been getting surprisingly irritated with the Aries…
Saturnine Speculations: Q&A from Comments
In a comment to the Pars Fortunae post, Amanda asks:
“how’s this for f’d up saturn issues:
9-14-66 with Rising: 3Scorpio16
i don’t think i understand the extent of this, as it’s not me, but someone i unfortunately have a massive crush on and oddly care a lot about
do you have any insights? what’s up with that saturine 5th house? with chiron there does that mark abuse? the person has a grand water trine, but is seemingly lacking empathy (or so it seems). they also have a grand (invisible) air trine. didn’t tim mcveigh have something similar?! again, i would LOVE any insights you could provide.”
Since I don’t have a location or time for this chart, I am creating a chart with a 3 degree Scorpio ASC for a middle latitude in the United States. This yields the following:
Sun 21 Virgo (11th)
Moon 18 Virgo (11th)
Merc 25 Virgo (11th)
Venus 6 Virgo (10th)
Mars 12 Leo (10th)
Jupiter 27 Cancer (9th)
Saturn 26 Pisces (5th)
Uranus 20 Virgo (11th)
Neptune 19 Scorpio (1st)
Pluto 18 Virgo (11th)
Assuming all that is proper, we can proceed…
Even the most rank beginner would be entranced by the Virgo stellium in the eleventh house, which is opposed by Saturn in the fifth (using an eight degree orb for opposition, Saturn opposes Moon, Pluto, Uranus, Sun and Mercury. Saturn is not well placed in Pisces. While Pisces is not a sign of detriment or fall for Saturn, given the mutability of the sign (easily the most mutable of the Mutables) and rigidity of Saturn, there will always be navigational challenges with this placement. In terms of other figures, I don’t see a lot here. I wouldn’t say there’s a Water Grand Trine, as I use seven degree orbs for trines, and Jupiter is eight degrees off from Neptune. I’m also not familiar with the “invisible trine” and I don’t really use Chiron in my analyses (I am still reading on asteroids, and I haven’t seen enough coherent theory to feel comfortable including it in my reading…though it does appear to do interesting things in some charts). However, Neptune and Saturn are in a trine and Jupiter and Saturn are in a trine, so Saturn is in major aspect to all the other planets, save Venus and Mars.
Unlike my own chart, where Saturn sits on the 10th/11th border and openly lords over the rest of the chart, marking himself as dominant, in this chart Saturn dominates (almost) from a hidden perspective–we start to open to others in the fifth house, but it is only a casual type of sharing, not the deep sharing (7th) or public spectacle (10th) that tends to make things harder to hide. Saturn stealthily exerts his cool influence on the chart, and indeed, there might be “learning to have fun” lessons, or, perhaps, “learning to have fun within boundaries” lessons (the intensity of Pisces and the Scorpio ASC).
However, if I were to speculate as to why this native “is seemingly lacking empathy,” I would actually point to the eleventh house stellium on its own (OK, of course there’s a bit of Saturn here), as this loaded eleventh house means that the native will actually have a bit of an Aquarian character. As we all know, one of the most typical complaints about the stereotypical Aquarian personality is that s/he is very friendly, but can lack empathy or the desire to achieve deep, personal understanding (preferring, of course, to examine things from the perspective of the global). It would not surprise me at all if this person did an excellent job at being gregarious, open and sociable (with Mercury in rulership in Virgo, he is probably good at parties because of his wit…though unlike a Gemini Mercury it might take him a bit to warm up) in casual company, but tended to clam up a bit in more intimate situations. I also wonder about the influence of the Virgonic. Many people would suggest that a lack of empathy is a quality found in the crabbier or less well-developed Virgos, but I would actually wonder about the way in which the Virgonic desire to serve works here. Virgos (and really, I believe, Earth signs and Saturn people in general) express affection by serving the needs of the beloved. They do not necessarily want reciprocation (in fact, for the underdeveloped, reciprocation is bad because it asserts equality between the two, which engenders the fear that one will no longer be needed and will be cast aside–for the assumption, borne out of a type of insecurity often linked with Saturn, but that tends to affect Earth signs more than others in general, is that one is only kept around to be of service), but they do demand gratitude. If they feel that they are not receiving this gratitude–and gratitude could be considered a type of duty and thus governed by Saturn–they might go very, very cold.
Indeed, I would say the issues presented by Saturn here are compounded by the influence of Aquarius and Virgo, and the real issue is the native’s attitude toward gratitude and service. Now Saturn has ancient rulership in Aquarius, and the eleventh house energy combined with the influential Saturn does confer a very strong and consistent sense of duty and responsibility, but the way that the native “takes it out” on those who do not share the same rigid conception might cause friction. Saturn in the fifth only compounds this issue, as he places his great weight on the house most associated with sunniness. I don’t think there’s anything very sinister here, but I would encourage you to have your friend really work on expressing his feelings about duty and gratitude and see if he reveals any concealed hurt or pain on these issues.
Thanks for your readership and your kind comments. I hope this is helpful.
In Aspect II: My Last Step before My First Step
The post I wrote on the Sun/Saturn cycle (among other things) is by far the most popular click on this blog, so in the name of giving readers what they want, today’s post focuses on another aspect of the absolutely amazing seven-year Saturn cycle. Now, even though Saturn’s passage over my Mars, Sun and Venus created a sense of a ‘new start’ or a ‘new me,’ I was obviously born with Saturn “mid-cycle,” as it were. Indeed, during my early years, Saturn opposed (Step 3 of the cycle) and made ‘the second square’ (Step 4 fof the cycle) to these three planets. I have never really thought about what this half-cycle might have been trying to teach me; all my thoughts about lessons and change have turned around the period from 18-21 (more or less), when I went through the conjunction transits.
Since these things go in groups of seven, I went through the ’second square’ period from March 1992 until March 1994 (when I was 10-12 years old), and Saturn made its first major contact to these aspects from December 1983 to September 1986 (when I was 2-5 years old). These are two periods of HUGE import in my life, but I need to examine them more thoroughly to find out what the developmental connection might be. Going way back to the opposition, I find that the period roughly corresponding to the Mars opposition was a time when I was afraid of everything, especially loud noises (there were days that my parents could barely get me to preschool because of the heavy equipment across the street from the building). I have probably never been more difficult for my parents than I was at that particular time. When we move on to the Saturn/Sun period , we come upon the very momentous moment of my little sister’s birth. The Mars opposition brought my fear of the harshness in the world to light, and the Sun opposition literally provided me with an opportunity to start learning how to interact with other people and developing through other people so that I could face my fears in the world. The Venus period lined up with my starting kindergarten and truly being forced to interact on my own with other people (the Mars troubles raised their head in my early primary schooling; when our gym teacher raised his voice at the class one day, I ran out of the gym–despite being a most obedient child and knowing it was wrong–because I simply could not take it…I also could not barely tolerate being in a noisy classroom).
My ability to resolve these troubles and awkward moments dogged me for years; by the time I arrived at the period of my ’second squares,’ it was still an issue. Many moves during my early life also complicated matters. These ’second squares’ corresponded with my fifth and sixth grade years (changed from elementary to middle school). This was a very sore test of my ability to develop relationships with others that would allow me to face my fears. Fifth grade, which corresponded with the Mars transit, was a complete nightmare. I immediately bonded with my teacher, only to have her change classrooms a few weeks in (I still remember sobbing all the way home on the bus)–this happened right around the time that Saturn squared Mars for the second time. The rest of the year was painful in terms of interaction with my peers. Sixth grade and middle school were markedly better. Indeed, it really does seem like the Saturn/Sun transit turns out to be a very positive time for me, and it is only the dread memories of the Saturn/Mars transit that immediately precedes it that lead me to think that the Saturn/Sun cycle is unpleasant. During the sixth grade I tried my hand at some clubs and activities, and the mutability of the environment (changing classes, having more choice over who I ate lunch with, etc.) allowed me to settle into my skin a little bit more. Again, the Venus transit appeared to be more of a set up for dealing with people in a social manner–I changed schools between sixth and seventh grade, which delayed the process of really acquiring a group of at-school friends (I did well at this in eighth, ninth and tenth grade, until we moved again). However, what could have been an extraordinarily difficult move (moving between the ages of 12 and 13 right in the middle of middle school) was actually very do-able, and I was really able to settle in with a bit of flair and panache–perhaps almost too much! I will say that this was a very pleasant period in terms of relations with my sister (they went due south a few years later, but are once again good), and that she spent a lot of time with me and my friends.
The overall trend of the half-cycle, if I had to sum it up, seemed to be learning how to a)face the fears of the world, b)recognize that other people could help me–especially my sister, and c)settle into my own skin and not define myself too much through other people. There wasn’t really a romantic element to the Venus transits, although…although, in late Kindergarten (after the Venus opposition ended) and seventh grade (after the Venus square ended), I did have crushes on two boys that a lot of people–including my own family–teased me about, making me very self-conscious about such things.
What I find interesting is how I’ve changed my methodology for coping with the fear that seems to be the real hallmark of the Saturn/Mars transits. When I was a baby, I screamed. When I was a child, I cried. Now, as a young adult, I cannot sleep, and allow the terrors to play out in various scenarios in my mind. I also find it interesting that I developed a crush that was a target for humor at the end of my Saturn/Venus conjunction period (makes me wonder what is in store for the last quarter of 2007 and early 2008, as I have my Saturn/Venus square in early October of this year). However, much like dealing with the Mars challenges, I’ve gotten better. I never spoke to the boy of my kindergarten dreams; while there was some awkwardness with the seventh-grade boy, we actually emerged as casual friends; and the college boy still drives me crazy, but I still talk to him. The Saturn/Sun periods are good periods, and I’ve been able to get more out of those good times as I age.
Perhaps the last step isn’t so different from the first step after all…
