And now for the Composite Moon in action!
Continuing this week’s fascination with composite charts, I want to take a look at the Moon in the composite charts and how clearly it can affect attraction. I’ll take a look at five different examples:
The first example is the composite Moon with my major crush (one of the stars of yesterday’s post). The composite Moon is in Scorpio (10th house) and the only major aspect it makes is a trine to Mars in Cancer. The second is the composite Moon with my ex-boyfriend (one of the stars from the first part of the Neptune oppositions post), which is in Leo (8th house), conjunct Mercury, sextile Mars in Gemini and trine Neptune. Third is the composite moon with the gentleman I attempted to make my rebound; it is in Sagittarius (3rd house), almost exactly conjunct Neptune, sextile Pluto, trine Mercury, and square Jupiter. The final two cases are composites with two gentlemen who approached me (and while I was interested, I was also going through a period of deep depression and allowed both opportunities to wither) and just happened to be born less than two weeks apart from each other. The composite Moon with the elder of the two is in Scorpio (11th house) and opposes Mercury. The composite Moon with the younger of the two is in Cancer (8th house) and trines Jupiter. Most importantly, it squares a Pluto conjunct Saturn OPPOSITE Sun conjunct Venus axis.
What strikes me is how much I can learn by looking at where the composite Moon falls in my natal chart. In fact, in most of these cases, I find the composite Moon’s placement in my natal chart to be more informative than its placement in the composite chart (however, they are the same in one case). The other thing that I find interesting is that these are all Fire and Water placements. My own chart is, with the exception of outer planets, completely bereft of Fire and Water placements. I have always been an adherent to the “we are attracted to what we lack” theory, and this would seem to be more evidence that, at least for me, that is the case.
Both Scorpio Moons fall in my natal twelfth house, and both of those relationships, such as they are, are clouded by improper perceptions, people lying to conceal their feelings, and strong romantic desire. These Moons are not heavily aspected in the composite chart either. Combining this with the Scorpio placement, there is a heady and dangerous quality to the attraction in both of these cases. Indeed, these two men flat-out turn me on (or had the ability to turn me on) more than any two men I have ever met. Both men bring out a flirty competitiveness in me, and during the time that I knew them (my communication with the one is rare and almost non-existent with the second one), both claimed that they brought out the best in me. To some degree, I think they might be right…
The Sagittarius Moon is the only composite located in the bottom half of the chart, and it is the only Mutable placement. In retrospect, I think that Neptune really clouded my judgment here when I approached this guy (who remains one of my best friends) about a relationship. Being a Pisces Moon, an Aquarius/Pisces cusp Sun with Neptune on the IC, he was more used to Neptune’s energy than I was at the time, and he was able to see more clearly. It’s been a couple of years since I asked him out, and now I honestly can’t imagine what possessed me to do it (he’s still a total cutie, but our personalities would be an abysmal match romantically). This is definitely the anomaly out of all the examples I discuss here.
The composite Moon with my ex-boyfriend falls in my natal ninth house (and the eighth house of the composite), and is decently aspected. Those who have surfed astro.com know that they associate the composite luminaries in the eighth house with extremely significant relationships and profound transformation. That is certainly true in this case, but I think that the natal ninth house placement sheds light on the nature of that transformation. The changes in my thinking about what I want out of a relationship and how I relate to my physical body have been reflected in the way I choose to interpret certain aspects of my religion (I am, oddly enough, a Roman Catholic). Whereas I used to be attracted to a very Augustinian, neo-Platonic form of Catholicism that came very close to disparaging the body, I have recently started to investigate ways to integrate an appreciation for the physical body with the higher aspects of faith.
I held the Cancer composite Moon for last because it is the most significantly aspected. It is also the one Moon that falls in the same house in both the composite and my natal chart–the eighth house. Even without a romantic component, this has been a relationship about pure inner transformation and learning how to accept and integrate big changes on an individual scale. It is about learning accommodation about the things that truly make me uncomfortable. It is interesting to compare this Moon to the Scorpio opposed Mercury Moon. Since these two were born so close together, other than the Moon position and its aspects, the composites are almost identical. The sheer sexual attraction, sense of jealousy, concern with power and dominance, and mystery of the Scorpio relationship is replaced by a matched seriousness and desire to really understand our emotional issues and become better people. Much like the Saturn squares with the Neptune oppositions, the Moon square to this opposition gives the relationship a rooted quality (the Moon is strong in Cancer) and a sense of shared purpose.
It seems that I am starting to generate some basic guidelines for looking at composites:
1. Having an opposition squared by another planet can actually be very helpful. The T-square tends to create energy that forces both partners to deal with the potential problems of the opposition, particularly when Saturn is the planet squaring the opposition.
2. Plot the composite Moon on your natal chart and examine that house carefully when considering the effect that the relationship has on you as a person.
More Neptune oppositions in Composite charts, Part II
OK, now I want to look at the last three oppositions from Part I of this post.
Next up is the Neptune opposition with my sister. My sister and I have a very “neat” composite. Venus conjuncts Mars in late Leo, Sun and Mercury conjunct in mid/early Cancer, Venus/Mars opposes Neptune, and all that is squared by the Moon. Venus/Mars also trines Saturn/Pluto, which then sextiles Neptune. Jupiter and Uranus are conjunct as well. My sister and I have a very strong relationship now, but she absolutely could not stand me–and I could not figure out why–before I left for college. As I think about it, we each had a very distorted picture of the other. Although my parents did not do this, it would have been easy to split us up into “the smart one” and “the pretty one.” She had a perception of me as having an effortless life, no problems, no troubles, and the love and approval of all authority figures in sight (figures she herself had a difficult time with), whereas she suffered nothing but calamity and unjust prejudice (she was a strong Goth in this period and we lived in the Midwest) for just being who she was. I saw her as someone who was much prettier than I was, had a much easier time making friends and being social, and who, quite frankly, was spoiled to some extent and had no idea what “having it tough” even began to entail. Even though the evidence was all around, she just could not see how hard I worked for everything, and I could not see that she did appreciate what she had. The Moon was not a strong enough square to force a sustained and meaningful and developmental confrontation. Instead, there were emotional outbursts (on her part, as she is a Sun/Moon/Mars/Mercury Leo stellium) that got us nowhere. Distance seems to have added perception, and we both appreciate things about the other, and again, it appears that Saturn’s trine to our composite Saturn/Pluto conjunction added a sense of reality.
Now to the aspect with my father, which is a really significant one, since he and I are only born two days apart. Thus, Composite Sun is conjunct both our natal Suns. Neptune in this Composite opposes the Sun and is conjunct my natal ASC, thus signifying that my relationship with my father has a strong affect on how I appear (and indeed, I do feel like two different people when I am around my family and when I am not, though I will bet that part of that is the fact that I currently have Uranus in the fourth house). The planets in this opposition widely conjunct the “parental” MC/IC axis from the preceding houses. There is also a strong Saturn component to this Composite as it conjuncts Pluto and squares Jupiter. The Moon in this Composite is also in Capricorn. Pisces rises in this Composite, and when combined with Neptune on the MC, contributes to the perception of this as the ideal father-daughter relationships, and it is a fantastic partnership. However, there are underlying tensions stemming from the fact that we are very much essentially the same, and as I develop more independence, I start wanting to demonstrate the independence, self-sufficiency and ability to help others that my father considers hallmarks of his personality. While I was a child, the relationship seemed to be built on the illusion that I would always be in the subservient position, and now as I become more independent, we both have to change how we perceive each other, and how we perceive ourselves, since our identities are very ingrained in the ideal of being personally self-sufficient and being able to extend help to others. If/when my father becomes more dependent on me, that will be the hallmark of another change in our relationship.
The final opposition I want to consider, the Neptune opp. Sun/Venus squared by Saturn, the one from my composite with my best friend, is a hybrid of the first two. My best friend and my crush were born almost exactly one year apart and the respective composites each have the Neptune opposite Sun/Venus aspect. This opposition is squared by Saturn in the composite with my best friend and squared by Jupiter in the composite with my crush. Now, going by planetary reputation, most people would assume that the latter was better, given the negative reputation of Saturn squares. However, given the utter lack of grounding of the Neptune opposition in the composite, I am of a firm belief that the Saturn square is necessary to push this opposition to a point of reality (recall that I also have Saturn square the Neptune/Mars opposition with my ex-boyfriend/current great friend) and move past the layers of self-deception that can occur with the Neptune opposition. Indeed, there were early similarities in the relationship between me and my best friend and me and my crush. I felt automatically comfortable with both people, as though I had known them all my life. This quality of wrapped-up safety was really new for me in terms of relationships with people who were not my family, and I treasure it. However, my best friend and I each helped the other through an incredibly difficult period where we confronted–together–our biggest fears and demons. There were hard conversations–Saturnian conversations–that I’ve never been put in the place to have with my old crush. The Saturn square gives a sense of reality and purpose and meaning to the relationship with my best friend that has allowed it to endure all sorts of ups and downs on the part of both parties.
The major thing I have pulled out of this particular analysis is the importance of a strong Saturn when you are faced with a Neptune opposition (or other difficult aspect) in a composite chart. Rather that providing explosive friction or dutiful dreariness, these Saturn aspects seem to provide a crucial counterbalance and impetus to develop the initially beautiful Neptunian relationship beyond the point where the beauty becomes frustration and elusiveness.
More Neptune oppositions in Composite charts, Part I
After yesterday’s post, I took a look at some of my own composites and noted oppositions in many of the charts. I want to focus on some of these oppositions today and discuss what they might mean in terms of how I conceive relationships (given my loaded seventh house and strong Libra presence, this is an area of particular importance for me). I am very big on looking for patterns across my composites and synastry with lots of people in order to learn new things about myself and why I make the choices I make.
Here are some of the oppositions I will be examining:
1. Neptune in Sagittarius opposite Mars in Gemini (Neptune in the twelfth, Mars in the sixth) in the composite with my first boyfriend (who is now one of my best friends). This opposition is squared by Saturn in Virgo on the cusp of the ninth.
2. Neptune in Sagittarius opposite Sun in Gemini (Neptune in the eleventh, Sun in the fifth) in the composite with my first big crush, whom I am friends with, but quite ambivalent about, really. This opposition is squared by Jupiter in Virgo in the eighth.
3. Neptune in Sagittarius opposite a Mars/Venus conjunction in Gemini (Neptune in the first, Mars/Venus in the seventh) in the composite with my only sister (younger by four years). This opposition is squared by Moon in Virgo in the ninth.
4. Neptune in Scorpio opposite Sun in Taurus (Neptune in the ninth, but conjunct the MC; Sun in the third, but conjunct the IC) in the composite with my father.
5. Neptune in Sagittarius opposite Sun/Venus conjunct in Gemini (Neptune conjunct ASC; Sun/Venus conjunct the DSC) in the composite with my best friend. This opposition is squared by Saturn in Virgo in the ninth.
These are some of the most significant relationships in my entire life (my mother is my only immediate family member not listed, though it should be noted that our composite chart Neptune is exactly opposite my natal Sun), so I am convinced that there is something to this pattern. As I said in the earlier post, these Neptune oppositions in the composite chart do not have an overall positive reputation (Liz Greene’s discussion in her Neptune book is my major reference for reading about these contacts in a composite chart), as they are often associated with self-deception or hiding of some sort. In a certain way that is true, and these oppositions (many of which services like astro.com associate with ’savior/victim’ behavior, following Greene’s reading) perhaps indicate a curious manifestation of my strong seventh house/Libra tendencies.
The first opposition, the Neptune/Mars, manifested itself in a classic way. My first boyfriend and I knew each other for six months before we started dating, and, upon reflection, we pursued a relationship because the friendship was so strong. Issues of physicality and attraction were confused from the get-go; I had not been physically attracted to him when we first met (I was not physically repelled either–I had no real reaction either way) and my attraction developed over time, as a consequence of his intelligence and good sense of humor. From the first (and as of now), he found me pretty, but he was always very shy. The relationship took a drastic turn downward after a little over a year when it was clear he was not enjoying the physical aspect of the relationship. After nearly six more months of both of us being unhappy, he finally confided in me that he really felt he was asexual, and that the pressure of having to be very physical (which I am–the composite Mars in the sixth house reflects my own Mars (in sensual Taurus) in the sixth house) to make me happy was very difficult to deal with, even though he loved my company. We broke off our romantic relationship and have such close, loving friendship that I would not trade for the world. It’s very obvious that the relationship with me forced him to confront this issue, which he had avoided fastidiously up to that point in his life. With a Pisces Ascendant and Neptune conjunct the Midheaven (in aspect to Sun and Moon as well), Neptune was a key planet for him, and in this composite, it was in its home house, the twelfth. Mars and Saturn, two of my key planets, are in stressful aspect to Neptune. I provide him with a sense of grounding and direction that is sometimes uncomfortable for him, but absolutely faithful. In turn, he encourages my lightness and creativity.
That opposition resolved itself, but the Sun/Neptune opposition in the composite with my big crush has festered over our relationship for almost eight years now. While the Mars/Neptune opposition was “about” my ex-boyfriend, I believe that the Sun/Neptune opposition in this chart is “about” me. My flights of fancy and romanticism and new love and, quite frankly, delusion reached incredible heights during this time. I was so happy wrapped up in Neptune’s glow that I almost willfully avoided asking hard questions. For nine months I mooned over this boy and we awkwardly interacted–never touching, never delving into meaningful realities, but utterly addicted to each other’s company. When the time came for us to move on to different places, he told me he had just gotten engaged. Unlike the situation with my ex-boyfriend, this boy and I were never placed in a situation where we had to break through the veneer, and we have both been happy to let the illusions go unchallenged. We have a complicated relationship that seems to receive boots of fortunate energy whenever one of us despairs of the other. I have no idea what he thinks of me; some days I think that we are in love, other days I’m convinced he never thinks of me (he usually calls me not 24 hours later). I still, after all these years, am “clouded” when I think about it, and have a hard time analyzing or understanding the situation. How Neptunian…
Comments on a Composite chart (midpoint method)
For today’s post, I want to make some comments on a composite chart that I looked at recently. Here are the chart’s “vital statistics”:
ASC 21 28′ Sagittarius
MC 12 44′ Libra
Sun 9 40′ Taurus
Moon 0 18′ Cancer
Merc 11 53′ Taurus
Venus 7 57′ Aries
Mars 9 18′ Virgo
Jupiter 29 23′ Capricorn
Saturn 19 35′rx Scorpio
Uranus 14 57′rx Sagittarius
Neptune 2 12′rx Capricorn
Pluto 1 51′rx Scorpio
Overall, this is a meaningful composite–there are a lot of planets in aspect, and there are figures in the chart. I find it is more fruitful to initially categorize composite charts (or judge synastry) as meaningful or unmeaningful instead of good or bad. As this particular chart shows, most “meaningful” composites–composite charts that indicate that someone will indeed have an impact on our lives–have both good and bad signatures.
Of course, a knowledge of the two natal charts involved in a composite can do nothing but aid in interpretation. Indeed, the Sun/Mercury conjunction in this particular composite takes on even more meaning when we know that the two natives in question are an Aries (sign of Sun’s exaltation) and a Gemini (sign of Mercury’s rulership). We can easily read these two planets as representing the natives and the fact that they are together can only bode well. There is also an Earth Grand Trine in this chart (Sun trine Mars trine Neptune) that is extremely important because of another figure involving Neptune (which I’ll discuss in a moment). Sun trine Mars signifies a relationship where the two natives are unafraid of (and quite enjoy) physicality and physical manifestation of a relationship. Sun and Mars, two grounded planets, do a lot to combat some of the troublesome manifestations of a powerful composite Neptune by making it easier to achieve that manifestation and move out of the fantasizing stage. Both the Moon and Sun aspect Pluto (Moon trines it, Sun opposes it), and while many are somewhat wary of Pluto aspects in a composite chart (traditionally associating them with possession and jealousy), I rather like them, as long as the partners are relatively equally matched in terms of intelligence and ability to be independent. That is the case with these two natives, so these Pluto aspects indicate that these two push each other and strive as a unit, each helping to improve the other. There is, of course, a danger of degeneration into what Hand calls “open warfare,” but given the natal chart of the Gemini (one of the most balanced I’ve ever seen–it has a Grand Trine, a Grand Cross, a Magic Rectangle and a yod), I find that eventuality very difficult to imagine.
However, any composite that has Neptune opposed by Moon with that opposition squared by Venus (especially troubling since these are the only major aspects to Venus in the composite) will have to deal with some serious issues, particularly when one of the natives (the Aries) has struggled with a difficult natal Moon-Saturn opposition and some painful Neptune transits early in life. This Neptune figure may bring some of the more traditional Plutonic issues back into play as well. Moon-Neptune aspects in a composite are the traditional signs of both an incredible ability to be romantic and an incredible ability to self-deceive (or be deceived by another). This figure is such a contrast with the Earth Grand Trine, and I believe it signifies a relationship that seems to be perpetually “ahead of itself” physically, with the emotional and communicative (note that Saturn opposes Mercury in the composite) aspects always lagging behind. Unfortunately, most of the onus to deal with these particular issues rests with the Gemini, who is far better equipped (both in terms of the natal chart and in terms of his/her place in life) to help the Aries through these problems. This can lead to–and has led to–frustration for the Gemini.
With Venus square both these planets, and with all three in angular houses (Neptune is in the first house, Moon is in the seventh, and Venus is conjunct the Imum), the figure gains extra force. This Moon/Neptune pull involves the most basic issues of individual identification and identification through the other. On the count, the two natives have much to teach each other; the Gemini (a seventh house Sun) can instruct the Aries (almost entirely occidental chart) in issues of “the other.” Of course, there is a great danger that these lessons could become derailed by the Venusian issues. Venus hits the fourth house of home and family. Both of these natives have a great desire to have a family and have children (and note that the important Sun/Mercury conjunction comes in the fifth house which can represent children), but after speaking with them both at length and examining their natal charts, I believe that they are motivated by different (and potentially conflicting) reasons. Venus and fourth house issues could be the locus of confusion and delusion (and with Moon in rulership in Cancer trine Pluto in rulership in Scorpio, there could be some heated battles here if the relationship progresses to that point). The Gemini is motivated by a somewhat romanticized love of children and a very positive family experience, while the Aries is motivated by a very negative family experience and seems to conceive the ability to contribute to a family and raise children as a sign of accomplishment and something for which s/he can receive validation. I worry that the Aries seeks a parent not for any children s/he might have but as a replacement for his/her own parents.
The biggest challenge presented by this composite chart has to be answered by the Arien native. The Aries has to work through his/her individual ‘Neptunian’ issues so that the illusory beauty of the Neptune-Moon opposition. That aspect is one of the most profound composite aspects possible, but to receive its full benefits, the first layers must be peeled away, and that can only be done when both individuals are secure with themselves (hell, a lot of relationship things can only blossom under that particular circumstance!) and have grappled with their own conceptions of fantasy and confronted their own delusions.
I actually think that this relationship has the ability to push the Gemini native toward a confrontation with these issues for the first time ever in his/her life. Indeed, this composite has a very light side (Jupiter as chart ruler with ASC in Sagittarius, Sun/Mercury in the fifth house, Venus in a Fire sign) and a much deeper side (Neptune figures, Pluto aspects, lots of Water). It will appear lighter, and I think that what people will notice about this relationship are the changes that the Aries goes through in terms of embracing the Fire in the natal chart and perhaps putting some of the Neptune issues to bed and becoming less serious. What people will not see is the struggle and transformation that the Gemini confronts. This will be a significant, but perhaps harder relationship than the Gemini might have imagined, because the Gemini will be put in the position of chief communicator and “balance,” while also watching and confronting–if the relationship lasts long enough–the issues of identity symbolized by the Moon-Neptune opposition.
However, I believe that if the Aries does not continue acknowledging and dealing with the Neptunian issues (there have already been one or two major “discussions” about this and I genuinely worry about this), the Gemini will eventually end the relationship and they will return to being friends.
How I read a Lunar Return chart (at least in part)
Seeing as how I just had a lunar return yesterday, I figured that I would post my reading of it, with a discussion of my methodology. While I don’t read Lunar return charts with the same frequency as I used to, that is only because it takes me a long time to do them and I have been very busy lately. I don’t really use them as a predictive tool, but more as a chance to guess what sort of issues and questions will be posed to me by the world–I particularly enjoy looking at my notes after the fact to see how things developed (for awhile there I was really quite spot-on, but that was with practice).
What books have I used to help me with Lunar returns? My primary source of education on the subject is Teal’s Planetary Triggers book. I don’t deviate much from her basics, although, as I said, I don’t focus as much on the predictive aspects of things.
Here are the basic chart stats:
ASC 25 46′ Gemini
Midheaven 1 44′ Pisces
Sun 1 33′ Cancer (1st house)
Moon 10 37′ Libra (5th house)
Mercury (chart ruler) 9 42′rx Cancer (1st house)
Venus 16 04′ Leo (3rd house)
Mars 28 54′ Aries (11th house)
Jupiter 12 46rx Sagittarius (6th house)
Saturn 21 33′ Leo (3rd house)
Uranus 18 42′ Pisces (10th house)
Neptune 21 49′rx Aquarius (9th house)
Pluto 27 32′rx Sagittarius (conjunct DSC)
While Lunar returns are best read as a series that build on each other, I can still see that this will be a fairly active return period. While the Moon itself is relatively unaspected (squared by Mercury and sextiled by Jupiter), there are two major oppositions here: the Saturn/Neptune opposition and the Sun/Pluto opposition. Most importantly, the Sun/Pluto opposition takes places very close to my ASC/DSC axis. While the Moon’s position in a succedent house marks this return period as one that consolidates and completes tasks, the Sun’s position in an angular house also indicates that new endeavors will be started around this period. Indeed, I note that in my next Lunar return, the Sun is conjunct the Midheaven, while the Moon in is the twelfth house–in the prior return, the Moon was widely conjunct an angular cusp while the Sun was conjunct a cadent cusp…these are the types of patterns one must look for, as they indicate very different stages of development for my ’sun’ side and my ‘moon’ side.
Those preliminary remarks aside, one of the first things I do with a Lunar return chart is look at which houses to highlight and see what they correspond to in my natal chart. For this return I focus on:
1st return house (has Sun conj. cusp and in hard aspect, also has chart ruler)–>natal eighth house
3rd return house (has Venus conj. Saturn in hard aspect and part of a Grand Trine)–>natal ninth house
5th return house (contains Moon)–>natal eleventh and twelfth house
7th return house (has Pluto conj. cusp)—>natal second house
I then identify the location of key natal parts:
Natal ASC: sixth house
Natal Sun: twelfth house
Natal Pluto, Chart ruler: fifth house
Natal Venus, ruler of Sun and Moon signs: twelfth house
Natal Saturn: conjunct fifth house cusp
In the case of something like that Saturn/Neptune opposition that has been going on for a long time, I just check its location in this chart and previous return charts to create a linkage (the opposition was in the 2nd/8th houses in the previous return and will be in the 4th/10th houses next return). With the move to 3rd/9th houses in this return, I should have an easier time thinking about and talking about the lessons and experiences that I have undergone with this transit (which was particularly interesting for me since the opposition made a Grand Cross with my ASC/DSC axis and was also squared by my Sun).
After that, I look to the new figures and key aspects in the chart. This return chart comes close to reversing my natal chart (in fact the Midheaven and IC are almost exactly reversed), so what I have the chance to do during this return is examine ‘upper half’ issues (issues of public presentation, perhaps also represented by Sun conjunct ASC and trine Midheaven in the return chart) through the lens of communication (about ‘ninth house issues’) and new relationships (perhaps some relationships/friendships that might have had fifth house status being moved to eleventh house status or some of those casual fifth house people actually helping me with the twelfth house, which is very remote for me). Seventh house issues will obviously be big with Pluto right on the cusp; I might have to watch for blowups with my closest friends and associates (with Pluto as ruler of Scorpio, there might be some jealousy about fifth/eleventh house people–given that my key natal points fall in the return fifth and twelfth houses, I think this is likely), because, if I were to be honest with myself, I would have to admit that I’ve been putting them aside lately for a new group of people. I’m also about to move, so there are issues involved with that (who will help, when will I visit, et cetera).
So far I have paid short attention to the Fire Grand Trine in the return chart (which is one of a series of Fire GTs that we have seen over the last few months), and that is probably due to the lack of Fire element in my natal chart! However, even I have had to admit that these Fire Grand Trines have brought a sense of warmth, activity and positive energy to my life (they’ve given me a different type of initiative and drive–my drive is very typical of a Mars in Taurus, and lately that drive has been lighter and more social), and I hope that it contributes the same thing during the return period.
After I highlight the areas of emphasis, examine the figures and aspects, and look for trends in previous and future return charts, I then allow the chart to settle and generally return to it in a day or so–when I do that, I’ll post additional thoughts if I have them.
What’s YOUR ‘new year?’
Every year, around 1 January, transiting Sun squares my Moon. This particular transit generally puts me in a melancholy mood, and I rarely feel like looking forward to the future and being excited on New Year’s Eve. I tend to wallow in the past and ruminate on my errors. New Year’s has never felt new; I always feel very exhausted, like I’ve reached a low point (my work culminates in December and May). My birthday–in May–also doesn’t serve as a ‘new year,’ as I am often very worn out around that time as well.
My ‘new year’ is closely tied to my Midheaven. The Sun conjuncts my Midheaven every year around 24-25 August (right after it makes its first square to Mars and Sun and around the same time it makes its first square to Venus). I really feel a jolt of new energy around the same time every single year, and I consider that to be my personal ‘New Year’s’ celebration.
A question for any readers: are there any transiting Sun aspects to your natal planets that happen around the time that you consider your ‘new year’?
In Aspect: Transiting Saturn squares (Step 2 of the cycle)
During the early hours on Monday I will have my final transiting Sun square to natal Saturn before I begin that particular annual cycle anew in late September. On that day we also have the final exact opposition between Neptune and Saturn, an opposition that is squared by my natal Sun. While I will not have the final exact square aspect between transiting Saturn and natal Sun until 16-17 July 2007, the placement on Monday will be well within the 3-degree orb I use for transiting aspects.
I believe that the period bookended by this double square on the 25th and my final exact t Saturn square n Sun aspect on 16-17 July will actually be a period of gain, or at least culmination. I suppose that’s the nice thing for those of us with a strong Saturn; we tend to cope with some traditionally negative transits in a more positive way than some of our peers.
Given that Mars comes ten degrees before my Sun and Venus comes nine degrees after my Saturn/Mars, Saturn/Sun squares and Saturn/Venus squares tend to blend together for me. Indeed, for a very long time I believe that I attributed ‘life lessons’ that were actually a part of this three square cycle to my Saturn/Sun cycle, and only recently have I reconsidered what my Saturn/Sun might be trying to teach me.
My newer thoughts on the Saturn/Sun cycle are, by necessity, preliminary, but I think I will be able to stand by the general thrust of the comments. I have a seventh house Sun, and, when combined with my Virgo Midheaven and Mars in Taurus in the sixth house, I manifest some of the more extreme behaviors of a seventh house Sun. I have problems with balancing my own interests with my need to help, serve and feed from other people. Balance becomes a key word, especially since I have Saturn in Libra. I believe that the Saturn/Sun cycle, for me, is about learning how to balance the self with proper socializing.
The hits back and forth on my Saturn/Sun conjunction covered, more or less, my second year of college. My college choice placed me in a situation where I did not have a lot in common with my classmates, and during my first year it looked like I would continue my pattern of being a loner and associating only with people I knew. This period basically lined up with my Saturn/Mars conjunction, and it was not a happy time. However, learning to deal with the stress brought on during that time somehow allowed me to loosen up and blossom during the Saturn/Sun conjunction. That period was one of the happiest in my life, and the Saturn/Venus conjunction that followed it was happy, though its ending was bittersweet. However, I overextended myself in terms of socializing, scheduling things and “putting myself out there” for people, and it led to a disastrous collapse that had its roots in September 2004 and reached lows in May 2005, May 2006 and December 2006.
According to Hand, the first square in a Saturn cycle (or any cycle) after the conjunction can be understood as a first test of progress. Given the hard times I had during the Saturn/Mars square and the Saturn/Sun square (at least so far), it would appear that I have some lessons yet to learn.
I think that the startling experience that happened around the time of my Saturn/Venus conjunction colored my whole view of this set of three important conjunctions. Only now have I started sorting them out and addressing the Saturn/Mars issues which have to do with dealing with work, stress and maintaining my own health. Just recently I connected my two periods of extreme insomnia to the times corresponding with the Saturn/Mars conjunction and the Saturn/Mars square. In order to make the most profitable use of the Saturn/Venus square, I must spend the time between now and then addressing these Saturn/Mars issues and using what comes to light at the end of the Saturn/Sun period to focus on my own individual development.
No updates this week
Real life is intervening; I don’t believe I’ll be able to update (or approve comments, sorry!) until Thursday or Friday of this week. Thanks for understanding.
Saturnine Speculations: Q&A from Comments
In the comments on the preceding post, ‘Nancy’ asked about the following configuration in a friend’s chart: “Sun 23′ capricorn in 10th house with mars and mercury 8and 9″ capricorn with Saturn in middle of the firth house at 15′ leo trine Neptune iat 15′ sag conjunct 9th cusp with a13′ aries rising?”
With the disclaimer that I am not a professional, I will offer my thoughts on this situation in light of the “learning to have fun” process described earlier. Nancy has provided us with a very heavy Saturn/Capricorn/10th house configuration as well as a Saturn/Neptune trine in Fire. Working from this information I am going to assume that this person was born in early 1977 and probably has Jupiter at 15 Taurus, Uranus at 11 Scorpio (these are critical to note, as they help form a T-square off Saturn), and Pluto at 14 Libra
Here then, are the influences:
—>Sun in Capricorn, drawing strength from the 10th house
—>Mercury conjunct Mars in Cacpricorn (I’m going to guess it’s in the 9th or the cusp of the 1oth)
—>ASC in Aries, further adding to the cardinality/angularity of the chart
—>Saturn in Leo, in classical detriment, in the fifth house (not a good mix with Saturn)
—>Saturn as part of a Fixed T-square with Jupiter and Uranus
—>Saturn trine both Neptune in Sagittarius and the ASC in Aries
I would definitely read this as one of the Saturnine types that really needs to learn how to have fun. Saturn is not well placed natally and it is in hard aspect to Uranus, a planet that it obviously does not “get along” with. I do not find the square to Jupiter all that alarming, but the trine to Neptune, if Venus is square, would cause me a little bit of concern in terms of being susceptible to what some might call the weaknesses of Neptune (self-delusion), but I would think the Capricorn Sun would provide some grounding there. Along with Saturn being a bit of a downer in the fifth house, I would guess that this person’s communication style (something that I would see as a gateway toward having fun, at least in terms of flirting) can be very blocked–Mars conjunct Mercury tends to produce outbursts of communication even though the style is usually very careful. The native might get frustrated with him/herself, especially around an outburst.
The Saturn/Neptune opposition as well as Mars’s recent extended stay in Taurus have all been very difficult transits for your friend, I would imagine, and have worked to create a lot of stress. I wonder if your friend has recently been too exhausted and/or overwhelmed to have fun or learn to have fun. Sun and Mars in Capricorn in the 10th (or near the 10th) certainly provide a drive to work, and I know a lot of people with Earth Suns and Mars placements that have really driven themselves too hard recently. As Saturn looks to join Jupiter and Uranus in Mutable signs, your friend, along with many other Fixed-dominated people, should see opportunities for resolving stressful situations.
Perhaps after that time, your friend will have the energy to work on the process of gracefully “unaging” him or herself. 
Learning to Have Fun: Saturnian Task #25,741
After meditating on my salvo against the fifth house, this post and link from Elsa’s blog about Capricorn and reverse aging, and some experiences over the last few days, I have become rather convinced that those with notable Saturns don’t so much age in reverse–they just overcome their learning-curve for having fun. I think those are different things…maybe!
Most writing I see in this vein talks about the way in which the very young, precocious Saturn child becomes a more jovial and childlike (or ageless) older person. There is very little written about late adolescence and early adulthood and the process of getting from point A to point B. In my experience, it doesn’t happen like magic, and, as others have noted, sometimes it doesn’t happen at all. It can be an awkward, painful process full of stops and starts and few things are sadder than the Saturnian adult who is still desperately trying to learn this elementary skill.
Indeed, part of what makes the whole process so miserable is the Saturnian’s conviction that everyone else is born knowing to have fun and that learning said skill is yet another [redacted] handicap on the list and needs to be overcome. While others may utter something like, “Oh my God, I’m learning to be 16 at 25!” the Saturnian secretly believes that only those in Saturn’s Elect Circle really experience such a phenomenon. Since the Saturnian child has already mastered so many “difficult” skills necessary to interact with older people, the ‘fun learning curve’ is especially frustrating because the same morons that the Saturnian child generally despised were able to do it effortlessly, so why should the skilled Saturnian have problems?
I know two older men with Sun in Saturn decante of Taurus. One has Saturn conjunct Mars in Virgo and the other has Saturn in Sagittarius conjunct the IC and square the AC/DC axis. The Sagittarian Saturn has 5th house cusp in Capricorn and Moon in Aquarius toward the end of the house. The Virgo Saturn has 5th house cusp in Virgo (Mars technically in the fourth but conjunct the cusp by 3 degrees) and Neptune in Libra, which is an intercepted sign in the chart. These are two men well into their fifties who have not learned how to properly have fun. They’re both dear to me, and I am so sad for them because I can just feel their frustration sometimes as they look around and watch others having fun. Each is able to cut loose every now and again, but I nearly sense guilt from them “after the fact” and sometimes that guilt manifests itself as dreary judgement and doom-and-gloom about people who are just having fun. Both men came from lower-class backgrounds and have spent their lives working their way up; there was no chance to really test the fun-learning curve (both men worked multiple jobs to put themselves through college and married soon after graduating). Both men are caring, loving people who demonstrate the standard 3rd decan Taurus desires to serve those around them and shower them with time and security, but they also keep people away at some level because neither of them can really cut loose. I’m not sure if it’s “too late” for either of them.
I am now witnessing an active cycle in the ‘fun learning curve’ process with a 23 year old friend who has a tight Saturn/Moon opposition (Saturn in Scorpio, Moon in Taurus) with Saturn sextile the AC, trine the DC and widely conjunct the MC. The 5th house cusp is in Gemini. This friend has described childhood as cold (the opposition happens in the 4th/10th house and there are numerous parent issues) and the early friends as being much older–textbook Saturnian childhood. My friend’s first attempt at the fun learning curve did not go well; it ended in rehab at the age of 18. There have been various attempts over the last five years, and my friend finally felt like real progress was on the horizon. However, over the weekend, my friend lapsed into some irresponsible behavior (canceling plans at the last minute, blowing off one group of friends to go out with another, being late) that really angered other people in my circle.
I commented to a friend (who is only casually acquainted with astrology and remains skeptical) via IM: “[i]n my experience I’ve noted that people who sort of have that serious personality and that slight bit of social awkwardness don’t know how to have fun “naturally”. They have to be convinced to even do it, and then when they do, they tend to go overboard in all sorts of ways. It’s like a [expletive] learning curve. I know I had a “learning curve of fun.” There’s a sense of horrible guilt because the person knows that s/he f’ed up, but it wars with a misplaced sense of resentment that the fun has brought guilt when it was supposed to be an escape from guilt…I really don’t think that he does in a way that’s internally healthy. There’s no balance…[friend is] either running around socializing and playing [game] all hours or [friend is] planning out a schedule of work and training and commuting that leaves [friend] literally 1hr30m a day for any sort of leisure or relaxation. [Friend's] learning curve of fun has been particularly steep…I would guess that the “I want to dance and damn the torpedoes!” attitude is another step on that curve.”
I’m not entirely sure how to help my friend through this; if anyone has experienced anything similiar, I’d appreciate the story in the comment thread.
