The Greater Malefic

After meditating on my salvo against the fifth house, this post and link from Elsa’s blog about Capricorn and reverse aging, and some experiences over the last few days, I have become rather convinced that those with notable Saturns don’t so much age in reverse–they just overcome their learning-curve for having fun.  I think those are different things…maybe!

Most writing I see in this vein talks about the way in which the very young, precocious Saturn child becomes a more jovial and childlike (or ageless) older person.  There is very little written about late adolescence and early adulthood and the process of getting from point A to point B.  In my experience, it doesn’t happen like magic, and, as others have noted, sometimes it doesn’t happen at all.  It can be an awkward, painful process full of stops and starts and few things are sadder than the Saturnian adult who is still desperately trying to learn this elementary skill.

Indeed, part of what makes the whole process so miserable is the Saturnian’s conviction that everyone else is born knowing to have fun and that learning said skill is yet another [redacted] handicap on the list and needs to be overcome.  While others may utter something like, “Oh my God, I’m learning to be 16 at 25!” the Saturnian secretly believes that only those in Saturn’s Elect Circle really experience such a phenomenon.  Since the Saturnian child has already mastered so many “difficult” skills necessary to interact with older people, the ‘fun learning curve’ is especially frustrating because the same morons that the Saturnian child generally despised were able to do it effortlessly, so why should the skilled Saturnian have problems?

I know two older men with Sun in Saturn decante of Taurus.  One has Saturn conjunct Mars in Virgo and the other has Saturn in Sagittarius conjunct the IC and square the AC/DC axis.  The Sagittarian Saturn has 5th house cusp in Capricorn and Moon in Aquarius toward the end of the house.  The Virgo Saturn has 5th house cusp in Virgo (Mars technically in the fourth but conjunct the cusp by 3 degrees) and Neptune in Libra, which is an intercepted sign in the chart.  These are two men well into their fifties who have not learned how to properly have fun.  They’re both dear to me, and I am so sad for them because I can just feel their frustration sometimes as they look around and watch others having fun.  Each is able to cut loose every now and again, but I nearly sense guilt from them “after the fact” and sometimes that guilt manifests itself as dreary judgement and doom-and-gloom about people who are just having fun.  Both men came from lower-class backgrounds and have spent their lives working their way up; there was no chance to really test the fun-learning curve (both men worked multiple jobs to put themselves through college and married soon after graduating).  Both men are caring, loving people who demonstrate the standard 3rd decan Taurus desires to serve those around them and shower them with time and security, but they also keep people away at some level because neither of them can really cut loose.  I’m not sure if it’s “too late” for either of them.

I am now witnessing an active cycle in the ‘fun learning curve’ process with a 23 year old friend who has a tight Saturn/Moon opposition (Saturn in Scorpio, Moon in Taurus) with Saturn sextile the AC, trine the DC and widely conjunct the MC.  The 5th house cusp is in Gemini.  This friend has described childhood as cold (the opposition happens in the 4th/10th house and there are numerous parent issues) and the early friends as being much older–textbook Saturnian childhood.  My friend’s first attempt at the fun learning curve did not go well; it ended in rehab at the age of 18.  There have been various attempts over the last five years, and my friend finally felt like real progress was on the horizon.  However, over the weekend, my friend lapsed into some irresponsible behavior (canceling plans at the last minute, blowing off one group of friends to go out with another, being late) that really angered other people in my circle. 

I commented to a friend (who is only casually acquainted with astrology and remains skeptical) via IM: “[i]n my experience I’ve noted that people who sort of have that serious personality and that slight bit of social awkwardness don’t know how to have fun “naturally”. They have to be convinced to even do it, and then when they do, they tend to go overboard in all sorts of ways. It’s like a [expletive] learning curve. I know I had a “learning curve of fun.” There’s a sense of horrible guilt because the person knows that s/he f’ed up, but it wars with a misplaced sense of resentment that the fun has brought guilt when it was supposed to be an escape from guilt…I really don’t think that he does in a way that’s internally healthy. There’s no balance…[friend is] either running around socializing and playing [game] all hours or [friend is] planning out a schedule of work and training and commuting that leaves [friend] literally 1hr30m a day for any sort of leisure or relaxation.  [Friend's] learning curve of fun has been particularly steep…I would guess that the “I want to dance and damn the torpedoes!” attitude is another step on that curve.”

I’m not entirely sure how to help my friend through this; if anyone has experienced anything similiar, I’d appreciate the story in the comment thread.