The Greater Malefic

OK, now I want to look at the last three oppositions from Part I of this post.

Next up is the Neptune opposition with my sister.  My sister and I have a very “neat” composite.  Venus conjuncts Mars in late Leo, Sun and Mercury conjunct in mid/early Cancer, Venus/Mars opposes Neptune, and all that is squared by the Moon.  Venus/Mars also trines Saturn/Pluto, which then sextiles Neptune.  Jupiter and Uranus are conjunct as well.  My sister and I have a very strong relationship now, but she absolutely could not stand me–and I could not figure out why–before I left for college.  As I think about it, we each had a very distorted picture of the other.  Although my parents did not do this, it would have been easy to split us up into “the smart one” and “the pretty one.”  She had a perception of me as having an effortless life, no problems, no troubles, and the love and approval of all authority figures in sight (figures she herself had a difficult time with), whereas she suffered nothing but calamity and unjust prejudice (she was a strong Goth in this period and we lived in the Midwest) for just being who she was.  I saw her as someone who was much prettier than I was, had a much easier time making friends and being social, and who, quite frankly, was spoiled to some extent and had no idea what “having it tough” even began to entail.  Even though the evidence was all around, she just could not see how hard I worked for everything, and I could not see that she did appreciate what she had.  The Moon was not a strong enough square to force a sustained and meaningful and developmental confrontation.  Instead, there were emotional outbursts (on her part, as she is a Sun/Moon/Mars/Mercury Leo stellium) that got us nowhere.  Distance seems to have added perception, and we both appreciate things about the other, and again, it appears that Saturn’s trine to our composite Saturn/Pluto conjunction added a sense of reality.

Now to the aspect with my father, which is a really significant one, since he and I are only born two days apart.  Thus, Composite Sun is conjunct both our natal Suns.  Neptune in this Composite opposes the Sun and is conjunct my natal ASC, thus signifying that my relationship with my father has a strong affect on how I appear (and indeed, I do feel like two different people when I am around my family and when I am not, though I will bet that part of that is the fact that I currently have Uranus in the fourth house).  The planets in this opposition widely conjunct the “parental” MC/IC axis from the preceding houses.  There is also a strong Saturn component to this Composite as it conjuncts Pluto and squares Jupiter.  The Moon in this Composite is also in Capricorn.  Pisces rises in this Composite, and when combined with Neptune on the MC, contributes to the perception of this as the ideal father-daughter relationships, and it is a fantastic partnership.  However, there are underlying tensions stemming from the fact that we are very much essentially the same, and as I develop more independence, I start wanting to demonstrate the independence, self-sufficiency and ability to help others that my father considers hallmarks of his personality.  While I was a child, the relationship seemed to be built on the illusion that I would always be in the subservient position, and now as I become more independent, we both have to change how we perceive each other, and how we perceive ourselves, since our identities are very ingrained in the ideal of being personally self-sufficient and being able to extend help to others.  If/when my father becomes more dependent on me, that will be the hallmark of another change in our relationship.

The final opposition I want to consider, the Neptune opp. Sun/Venus squared by Saturn, the one from my composite with my best friend, is a hybrid of the first two.  My best friend and my crush were born almost exactly one year apart and the respective composites each have the Neptune opposite Sun/Venus aspect.  This opposition is squared by Saturn in the composite with my best friend and squared by Jupiter in the composite with my crush.  Now, going by planetary reputation, most people would assume that the latter was better, given the negative reputation of Saturn squares.  However, given the utter lack of grounding of the Neptune opposition in the composite, I am of a firm belief that the Saturn square is necessary to push this opposition to a point of reality (recall that I also have Saturn square the Neptune/Mars opposition with my ex-boyfriend/current great friend) and move past the layers of self-deception that can occur with the Neptune opposition.  Indeed, there were early similarities in the relationship between me and my best friend and me and my crush.  I felt automatically comfortable with both people, as though I had known them all my life.  This quality of wrapped-up safety was really new for me in terms of relationships with people who were not my family, and I treasure it.  However, my best friend and I each helped the other through an incredibly difficult period where we confronted–together–our biggest fears and demons.  There were hard conversations–Saturnian conversations–that I’ve never been put in the place to have with my old crush.  The Saturn square gives a sense of reality and purpose and meaning to the relationship with my best friend that has allowed it to endure all sorts of ups and downs on the part of both parties.

The major thing I have pulled out of this particular analysis is the importance of a strong Saturn when you are faced with a Neptune opposition (or other difficult aspect) in a composite chart.  Rather that providing explosive friction or dutiful dreariness, these Saturn aspects seem to provide a crucial counterbalance and impetus to develop the initially beautiful Neptunian relationship beyond the point where the beauty becomes frustration and elusiveness.